DIVORCE.

It feels like a death

The spot where you once slept is empty

The seat at the kitchen table where you once sat; empty

Closets of your mess; cleaned out

Echoes of your sarcasm; gone

Tension anticipated upon your presence; gone

Divorce.

Would it have been easier had you left 20 years ago vs 47 years later?

Or is Pain always JUST PAIN regardless?

I have found that pain can be immeasurable

And that everybody’s pain is both equal and different

Either way, it feels like death

Death because the habitual patterns are ceased;

Non-existent in that once-always-environment

Death because I am grieving

We are grieving

We, together, have resistant smiles

And our smiles crave unity

Divorce feels like a death in the family

I am having flashbacks of my childhood every night

What was it all for then?

Just to raise us?

Why did you give in so easily to your desires rather than think with your conscience?

Whatever my thoughts and memories, it does not matter because it all feels like a death

What comes after death?

After death I can imagine light

And a new start

With a fresh set of principles regained

And a heart ready to pour out gold

After death comes the anticipation of a new breath; once felt suffocated

Divorce feels like an end to unhealthy patterns

And a good morning to a new kind of sunrise.

#divorce.